Reflector Newswire
Turkey Premier Trype Toffan has organized on campus turkeys into a unified city state, “Newfowlland,” behind the Quick Center for the Arts. In a recent press conference regarding the matter, Toffan said, “This newly signed declaration states that we are an independent city state.” When asked about the rising tension between students and turkeys, Toffan said, “We are a unified group, and we will fight for our rights if we have to.”
The Department of Public Safety has set up an electric fence around the city that would bring any turkey that touches it to a slow roast. “Well basically, we just don’t want to see turkeys get hurt, we have to protect them from themselves.”
the fairfield reflector 